Sometimes I write when I am sad but when you are angry with me, I can barely breathe. Before I met you, before you said I am yours some five years ago, I wrote not so romantic musings. But you made me deeply feel things. My heart ached when you are far. True , over the years, we could not be together as we want. I could not love you enough. But you let me shine in this blogesphere. You are my star, my sun and moon altogether. You made me a poet because I truly feel things when I am with you. I feel things acutely. I do not want us to be away from the other for a short time even. I am not unfaithful, as you know I have only eyes for you and even my spirit belongs to you but I want us to witness the whole new world together, hand in hand, lips brushing one another, may be some steamy action.
Even without any of that, I would still and will love you.
Its been rough few days. Not your fault but way of life. At times I feel you must be thinking that you would have never met me. I have unbalanced your status quo. Would I be answerable on the judgment day?
I was never a tame horse. No one could tie me down to a pole. I was meant for greatness. It is late and at the moment I am facing all sorts of obstacles, humiliations and frustrations. I have thought of giving up many times, it was a new thing to me. I used to be fearless and goal oriented. I was to achieve success. Everyone predicted that and I knew it.
So I will fight, do my best and let anyone say anything. I am great. I am the best. I have told you many things and yes each and everything is possible. Every time I fall I should pick myself up because I should be an example to you too.
Yes, we can do this. We have done many impossible things and now anything is possible. I got you. What more strength I want.
We will conquer.
You were right. As always. You are not responsible for my problems. Comparing to you, they are minute and inconsiderate. It’s not that I love you less or not caring enough. May be my sex drive is low, may be I am facing impotency.( LOL) But all in all I want the best for us and it’s been too long that our dreams are yet to come true. That rattles me, upsets me and make me wonder and puzzled.
I love you, life is tired but it’s not your fault. Infact you get me going. You are my life support.
Another 19th. I have lost count and you are mad with me. How can I have a selective dialogues with you? Tired with this unforeseen flu and body ache. I wish you would read my mind at times. Things are difficult at times, nothing is going our way. But hold on. May be tomorrow is not that bad.
Many believe love rejuvenate life. Making every mundane things beautiful and making you positive. True. But also love hurts, may be not love but the fact that at certain times you have to be happy with solitude. It is murderous. It can leave you crazy and you might be blaming love, for making yourself so powerless and timid and it has shrunken you into a tiny dot in the universe.
I think of you and you of me. Most of the time and may be except at the time we are both worried about our future. May be I am too worried about lack of success in my life. I had vowed to make your life comfortable and so far I have failed. My inability makes me angry and frustrated and sad at times. We both deserve all the good things and we are so much in love and it is a pity that we have still not found out our oasis. It is too sad.