Soliloquies, again…

I do have a conscious. A precise one. When I don’t talk, I think and thinking make my heartache. My heart gives me pain for the person I have become. That sweet, delicate, sensitive girl has become mature and got a grip about what is happening around. It aches me. I am not heartless and brutal. I have a heart. It’s just I don’t give in to my emotions. I have to be responsible for you. It pisses me off. I am not a perfect daughter, I used to be. I used to be an example to all the daughters in the world but now I can’t even understand me. I used to be childish. I used to cry at night. I have not raised my voice. But now I feel like a monster. I hurt you. I don’t pretend. That I am sure out of all things in the world. And I love you. Life is not easy and I fear that I would die soon. I am not afraid of death. What would happen to you if I die, that I fear. I am afraid of leaving you behind. I have spolit you. What will happen to our love if I die?

~ Dilly~
23/04/2016

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