Awakening…

I blasted you. For no reason and I am sorry. I have lot going on. Of course it was my choice to come and you have all the reasons to blame me and baby, I am so sorry. But you know what, I have decided to stop nagging. I have decided to stop blaming you. I have decided to be the positive person I used to be.

I love you and it is of course is universally acknowledged now. You love me too. Although you don’t say it out loud. I know you do. But you know I am insecure and being on my own makes me pretty depressed. I love you. I must have told you that more than a trillion times and it is not enough. I love you and want to be with you.

Of course, when you are around me I took you for granted. I should not have but I involuntarily did and I am sorry for that. Today I went to a shopping mall to give away my resumes and I met a very old lady. She was using a walker and she had an oxygen valve inside her nose. It was pretty easy to see she was struggling to live. But as it turned out she was not at all depressed like me and thanking everyday that she is alive. She said she does not entertain negative people or thoughts if she can help it and if she turn back in retrospect, there is not a thing that she would change in her life. 

I felt ashamed of myself. I have my health, I have you and your love. Why am I complaining. Then I realized it is because you are not near me and all the time I feel so much  of guilt for leaving you behind. I did not want to leave you. But in order for us to be together, some one has to make a move and I know we will be together. Don’t ask me how or when. I told you I would go before you and here I am. I did not know it then. I do not know it now. But I just know. I am at the library now. They have free wifi. But it will be close in one and half hours. So I am going to be here and write to you as much as possible.

Love has proved to be a force. A power that can create unbelievable miracles. You have to have faith. You have to have it. You have to trust me. I have promised you that I will never let you be alone. I want to die near you. I want to hold you to my heart when I die. Of course you have to die after me. I cannot go through the pain of loosing you. Since I have no sight of you for the time being, it has made temperorily insane. You are like the butter to my bread. The apple of my eyes. Without I cannot live a single second.

Love me. Show your love. Support me. Celebrate our love. We are still alive and in love. I have no eyes for another. I need you not just to make love, which I fail to fulfill everytime but hold and touch and to kiss a lot. And to feel your warmth. I can only dream of them now but all my dreams came true and out of all you are the Best.

I love you my baby. Be with me?

~ Dakshi~

08/08/2016

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