I could not sleep yesterday. Its been 44 days and here I am, without a job or you. Would you believe I still cry remembering you? Even now I am. I feel old. What if I die here? You would not even know. You would think that I have changed. You would be so sad. But my soul would be floating in the air, searching you. It is a scary feeling. Here I am, sitting in one of two chairs I have, crying. It aches so much. I pray God and always ask for a miracle. But either he wants to punish me or he is testing my patience or its just bad karma. Or everything together. It is such a pain. I do not wish it for my worst enemy even. I miss you so terribly. This is really love. I am so much in love with you. So much. I want to come to where you sleep with the wind, kiss your forehead and ruffle your hair softly and hold you to my heart. I miss your touch. I miss your love. I miss your mood swings. I miss doing things for you. I miss making you happy. I miss your smile. I miss you, from head to toes. It is such a terrible feeling. It makes me cry every single second. I feel crazy.