Your Letter, A Reply…

You sent me a story of your life few weeks ago. It was the time you wanted to be away from me. A six paged letter. I could not pass third page. I remember I was in the bus. I was worried about you. You did not wished me properly on my birthday and I was angry with you and sad about us. But the letter triggered my love, which was always there and I was dead worried. I called you. You acted like a cold heart.

Things are better now. You have come to your senses. We had a fight because I brought up the letter. You hanged up in anger. I started reading it again and I am in a pool of tears. I left you. I was selfish and I should have think of you. I wanted my freedom. I was suffocating with pressure from my family. I wanted an escape. But i promised to be with you, till I die. I failed you. I cannot imagine the pain I must have given you. I broke you. I broke your heart and soul. I am a sort of murderer. I know I am.

I just want you. Here, near me. I want to hold you close when I wake up at night. I am awake at unholy hours and I am scared if something happens to me, no one will know. I am on my own now. You had a rough childhood. I knew that. You craved for love. I had a lot to give. Because I was given a lot by my parents, grandmother and two aunts. I knew what love was. I wanted to heal you. I did not know much about your wounds but I wanted to soothe you. I wanted you to feel safe.

I love you. It is not a past-time for me. I do not love you because I want to use you. I love you because I need you in my life. I love you because I can be me around you.

This is part of your letter. You summed up what I felt about you. I have nothing more to add.

I met you five years ago. I fell for your beautiful face. I was proud to have you. I still am. You filled my heart with love. I know one thing for sure, if you are not with me I will never find peace within. You need a partner for life. Life would be meaningless if you don’t find one. I found you. I am home.”

After months…

I know I have not written any letters in months. You started hating me. I could not take it anymore. I lied low. Just trying to shut my memories and constantly wiping my tears. I loved you. I still do. I have this ache in my heart that don’t really go away. I need you. It is not only physical but I need you here. Near me. Where I can see you and feel you.
I want to have you whenever I want. I want to kiss you. I want to do all goofy things with you because you are mine. My baby you are. I need your warmth and love. I need your soul to mingle with mine. I need you,want you. You are my life line.
Always have,always will be.
I love you baby…❤❤❤
04/02/2017

19th and far…(71 days away)

Today is a 19th. But for you it is 20th. We cannot celebrate our anniversary together even. You know I celebrate every 19th. What is the point of this life really?

~Dilly~

19/09/2016

Suffocation…

Its been 70 days. There is a hole inside my heart and it makes me hard to breathe.
~Dilly~

18/09/2016

Lost faith…

You are asleep. I am awake. I am living your yesterday and you live my night to come. When can we see the sun rise and sunset together?

I really had a lot of faith in God. After I started loving you, I have not asked anything for me from God but everything for you. So either God is deaf and blind or he is testing my faith. The sad news is I have reduced to a person who start the day with tears and end in the same style. I hope God must be enjoying this show.
~ Dilly ~

13/09/2016

64 days…

Life is canada or heaven for that matter,does not mean a thing if YOU are not hear with me. You matter to me, more than everything else.

I love you so much. Too cold. Wish you are here to hold my hand and make me warm. It is been 64 days. My life is a barren land without you.

I just miss you so much.
~ Dilly~

12/09/2016