Trying to find peace in this desert…

It is more than three months now but I have stopped counting days. I believe that leads to misery. It is snowing outside and today is Thanksgiving. I am alone and I cannot go out because it is too cold. I have lost my job and you are not near to give me solace. I should kill myself right?

NO. I am not going to. I am not going to be defeated or accept defeat. I am proud of you, you know. You were there for me when I don’t know what to do without my job. You explained my follies and my downs and You brought my positivity back on track. Yes, I know. Love can do wonders. There is sun now. Snow is melting slowly but it is still cold. Just like life.

There would be times where no hope is visible. We are lost in a world full of snow, without light but fog and coldness. But sun will come out eventually and we will be warm again. I have no doubt that you would come and warm my soul. I know the uncertainty makes you mad and you are mad with me for talking crap about positive life. I am here, so it is easy for me to preach, right?

It is not easy at all. To uproot from all I know and you I love. It is deadly. But in order to live our lives, I had to do that and I was selfish, yes. I am no Mother Theresa, yes. But my love for you is not fake and I am using every ounce of my energy to speak to the higher being in this world, it might be the universe or some positive energy that allows our dreams to come true.

Please believe in me. I want to play in snow with you. I want you to see what I see and I want to hold your hand and walk in streets with yellowed fallen leaves.

I want to fall in love with you, again and again.

I want to give everything, you ever dreamt of, not money but love and affection.

My soul belongs to you.

 

I love you so very much…

 

~ Dilly ~

10/10/2016

 

 

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The truth…

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I love you. I have never tired to love you or make you feel for me. I have always believed that we are meant to be together. After all these years, it has to be. I love you. Honestly and as long as I live. I know you love me madly too. Am I too hopeful here? (wink)

Sorry is not enough…

Sometimes I act stupidly and then feel ashamed of the way I behaved. That is when you explained me that I was not in my best behavior. Then I feel sorry for you, for bearing up with me, later I feel angry with myself, for making you undergo such pains and then I feel like hiding in a tunnel or somewhere no one would come.

I think of only myself. It disgusts me. I say, I think of you more than me but really? I think of my pains and melancholia but not yours. You are the one, fighting a battle of your own, to be with me and love me. I should understand that.

From my childhood, I got all the love and care in the world and I never had to think how it would come or is it difficult o show affection at some scenarios. I was poured with love and that’s it. I never had to ask for love or beg or wait. Am I psychologically imbalanced, I don’t think so but I should not have behaved that way, making myself a burden to you.

Sorry is not enough…

 

~ Dilly ~

21/04/2014

You Surprise me, always…

You always surprise me.

When I am feeling down and out and struggling to live one more second, thinking how painful love is when your guy isn’t near you ….

You call me, always at that time where I have lost hope and ready to give in to the melancholy creeping inside, trying to invade my sanity.

I just love you so much…

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(http://weheartit.com/entry/110829580/search?context_type=search&context_user=daiana_daia&page=6&query=summer+couple)

~ Dilly ~

13/04/2014

Oh, How much I miss you…

 

Another day. Oh, another day. Time pass so slowly when I am far away from you. It is killing me. But what can I do but keep mum and hoping time to pass fast till I see you again. It’s amazing what love can do to you. Love makes you happy and crazy at the same time leaving you paralyze in pain. Not just pain but excruciating, bone cracking pain.

Oh, how much I missed you. Lost for words….

 

~ Dilly ~

12/04/2014

My Eternal Sunshine…

Do you know that you are the “Eternal Sunshine” for me?

It is amazing to have such love and warmth from you, it encourages me and make me whole. I like a crazy person, smile for nothing sometimes, thinking of you.

For you, I am crazy…

~ Dilly ~

03/04/2014

Nothing is impossible…

When someone feel the love of their life, in every breath, that is quite something don’t you think? It is a rare phenomenon since all are thinking of how to make “their” lives better and never reciprocate.

If I say I love you that would be an understatement. It does not exactly depict the immense adoration I have for you. It’s a craze to love someone so madly, despite the follies of both sides and pains of the heart.

As you say “Nothing is impossible”. What a lesson was that?  I am happy and proud to be on your side and to share my life with you. I love you and no matter what, we will find a way to reach our dreams and I know we would be so happy together, in times to come and in after lives too.

Forgive me for reserving you, for me, all for myself.

I just love you so much…

 

~ Dilly ~

23/03/2014