After months…

I know I have not written any letters in months. You started hating me. I could not take it anymore. I lied low. Just trying to shut my memories and constantly wiping my tears. I loved you. I still do. I have this ache in my heart that don’t really go away. I need you. It is not only physical but I need you here. Near me. Where I can see you and feel you.
I want to have you whenever I want. I want to kiss you. I want to do all goofy things with you because you are mine. My baby you are. I need your warmth and love. I need your soul to mingle with mine. I need you,want you. You are my life line.
Always have,always will be.
I love you baby…❤❤❤


19th and far…(71 days away)

Today is a 19th. But for you it is 20th. We cannot celebrate our anniversary together even. You know I celebrate every 19th. What is the point of this life really?




Its been 70 days. There is a hole inside my heart and it makes me hard to breathe.


64 days…

Life is canada or heaven for that matter,does not mean a thing if YOU are not hear with me. You matter to me, more than everything else.

I love you so much. Too cold. Wish you are here to hold my hand and make me warm. It is been 64 days. My life is a barren land without you.

I just miss you so much.
~ Dilly~


Not knowing…

Its been 60 days since I left the country and it hurts like hell still. It is more like 60 years of solitude.I have considered myself to be a strong person but what I never understood was that it was When you are around. Then I know I am in my comfort zone. I have not much regrets in my life but migrating is one of the top. I miss you just when you hang up and it is funny that you don’t want to see me in Skype. Then I will feel less agitated I am sure. I feel a sense of something missing and it is a terrible terrible feeling. I am sure although you miss me and at times you let it out when you are angry with me,you have it in control. I am hopeless. I dream day and night and I am getting old and scared.
When would I see you again? If I knew when all I have to do is count days. But now this not knowing kills me.
~ Dilly~


Day 44…

I could not sleep yesterday. Its been 44 days and here I am, without a job or you. Would you believe I still cry remembering you? Even now I am. I feel old. What if I die here? You would not even know. You would think that I have changed. You would be so sad. But my soul would be floating in the air, searching you. It is a scary feeling. Here I am, sitting in one of two chairs I have, crying. It aches so much. I pray God and always ask for a miracle. But either he wants to punish me or he is testing my patience or its just bad karma. Or everything together. It is such a pain. I do not wish it for my worst enemy even. I miss you so terribly. This is really love. I am so much in love with you. So much. I want to come to where you sleep with the wind, kiss your forehead and ruffle your hair softly and hold you to my heart. I miss your touch. I miss your love. I miss your mood swings. I miss doing things for you. I miss making you happy. I miss your smile. I miss you, from head to toes. It is such a terrible feeling. It makes me cry every single second. I feel crazy.
~Your Dilly~