Where is God…

Mostly Rain. Shine. Snow in couple of months. I feel uneasy. Should unearth this feeling. I don’t know what to do but I have to knock some sense into my stubborn head. I hear noises and they are too much. It is deafening. Living among unknown, not knowing what the future brings, not having you by my side, you who fought all my wars with me and who gave honest opinion and courage, I don’t know what God has planned for me. It gives me immense pain.

~ Dilly~
15/05/2016

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I shouldn’t have…

I’m a selfish girl and I do not hesitate for a moment to accept that fact. I crave for your attention, I would die for your love, I would do anything for you and I wish, it’s the tinniest of wishes, that you would show your love to me.

You love me, there’s no doubt about it but at times I feel you are burdened by my love. What can I do at those times but to simply shut myself up, crying in bathroom where no one hear me and wait for a miracle. I shouldn’t expect anything but love you, without any expectations, but I am still human and my humane qualities may make you suffocate and you may think it limits your freedom.

I’m going away for sometime, you will have all the freedom you want. I will be silent, I will try to be cold and inhuman, will try not to think of you,I will fail I know that as the sun will shine in the morn but I’m going to replace my heart tonight and lock it bury it somewhere deep. I’m selfish and I expect you to call me and see whether I’ve reached home, in a stormy night but I shouldn’t really.

How stupid of me to be so selfish.

I shouldn’t have…